Slow to Speak | Spiritual Disciplines
Careful thought and prayer go hand-in-hand. That might seem to be simplistic, but in the rush of our normal lives, our interactions are fraught with rambling dialogue. I want us to consider how this conversational posture may transfer into our prayer life, and how it threatens the potency of our petitions.
Slowing Down
In the world of speech-to-text, transcribed voicemails, and double-speed podcasts, it is no wonder that we crave speed in all avenues of life. Interaction is easier than ever, and consequently, interaction is more meaningless than ever. It is generally true that when something becomes common to us, we consider it less valuable.This is why we—when speaking to someone we haven’t seen in years—are elated and eager to hear about all the important updates, yet we struggle to care when hearing daily updates from our most proximal friends.
Unfortunately, when we do not slow down, this leads us to pray faster than our thoughts can flow. This means that our prayers ramble, meander, and roam, without any kind of definitive thought or shape. What happens when we slow down? Taking time on something is a value statement. The people you spend time with recognize the value that you ascribe to them . You cannot fake your way into more time…it is either given or it isn’t.
When you sit down to hand-write a note to someone, it could contain the exact same information that a text or a phone call would, but inherently the handwritten note is more valuable. It takes more time, more intentionality, more care, and thus it has more value. So, if slowing down in our interactions with people is beneficial, then can it also help us to commune with God in prayer?
The Danger
Jesus teaches his disciples to be different from the Pharisees of their day when they pray.
“And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.“ Matthew 6:7–8
Do we think we will be heard by God if our prayers have more words? Is He like an English teacher that refuses to accept work without a minimum word count, and only takes pleasure in prayers of a certain length? Of course not! God delights in his children, and we must remember this when we pray to him.
When we pray then, we must not think that either length or spontaneity equate to holiness. We ought not “heap up empty phrases” which we often do, or think that we will be “heard for our many words.” It simply is not true.
As we resolve to slow our speech, we must confess that our minds often lack the discipline to follow any one cohesive thought to its completion. Identifying the problem is much simpler than proposing a solution to the problem. Unfortunately, there isn’t just one cover-all solution.
Allow me to suggest some of the solutions I have found most helpful when disciplining my mind in prayer.
Adding Structure
One potential antidote to such aimlessness in prayer is structure. Jesus, being a great teacher, provides that for his disciples.
“Pray then like this: ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.’” Matthew 6:9–13
The Lord’s Prayer guides our thoughts and clarifies how we ought to formulate our prayers. Just as we were taught as youth in school, before we begin writing an essay, or speaking, it would be wise to organize our thoughts. structure adds a layer that causes us to slow down and shields us from “heaping up empty phrases”.
Because our thoughts proceed our mouths at unprecedented speeds, we say things we do not mean, and we speak with a lack of carefulness. When in prayer, it is good for our souls and for our minds to be more deliberate.
One way to do this is to think clearly about what you desire to pray for before you go to the Lord in prayer. Simply identify your hopes, your wishes, and your focus. It could go a long way towards helping you shape prayer. If you have no idea how to get started, use the Lord’s prayer. Pray line-by-line, reflecting on each petition, and allowing it to lead you.
Adding Depth
I have learned from Dr. Donald Whitney that the best way to add clarity to prayer is to have prayer burst forth from contemplation with scripture. Meditation drives prayer, and the depths from which you can pray only extend as far as the depths from which you contemplate God.
So, if your prayer life remains at the surface level of truisms and does not deeply contemplate God, then it is no wonder that you feel it is the valley of dry bones rather than a river teeming with life. To draw from the well of a relationship with God, the well must first be dug. Before you pray, fill your heart with scripture. Read a Psalm. Reflect on the glory, holiness, or faithfulness of God, and launch into prayer to praise Him for all that He is.
Adding Clarity
Writing as I pray tends to regulate my output so that it is slower than my thoughts. This means every word written and every word spoken out loud is one that proceeds from careful contemplation. It does not guarantee perfection, and it is more laborious, but it consistently causes me to articulate more carefully. This may seem like a vain construction, but when we compose letters to loved ones, they often demonstrate a carefulness of thought, rather than a lack of intimacy.
Many presume that prayer—fueled by emotion—is more glorifying because it is more authentic. However, spontaneity does not equate to intimacy. Often, spontaneity does not mean much of anything except a lack of planning. When I desire to share my heart to someone in a sermon, or in a letter, or in a conversation, it usually entails writing out my thoughts ahead of time. If I take such pains when communicating with people, why would I not also use this with God in prayer?
This does not mean that every time I pray I create an artificial barrier to my intimacy, but often I find that writing brings completion to the expressions in my heart. It is one tool that I use to slow my speech.
Adding Consistency
Consider writing out prayers which you will re-pray over the course of several weeks or seasonally. In the same way that we revisit old memories in our camera rolls, we can also revisit old needs in our prayers. There is nothing unholy about re-praying the same words, especially if those words are a sincere reflection of your heart.
Does singing the same song lyrics for the hundredth time reduce or magnify their importance? Some of my favorite hymns are those I have sung hundreds of times. Part of the modern pressure in prayer requires newness every time. But, often we ask God for the same old things, and we can revisit those old prayers to remind our hearts that He has answered us before.
None of what I have suggested here is required by scripture; we have much freedom in how we approach the throne of grace. The only requirement is that we do indeed approach the throne. It brings delight to our souls and vigor to our walk. What I have outlined is merely what has worked and continues to work for one pilgrim, and I commend it to you for your consideration.